Great jokes, in poor taste:

I've just come out of the shop with a meat and potato pie, large chips, mushy peas & a jumbo sausage. A poor homeless man sat there and said 'I've not eaten for two days.' I told him 'I wish I had your fucking will power.' 
 
   
I took my Biology exam last Friday.

I was asked to name two things commonly found in cells.

Apparently "Blacks" and "Mexicans" were not the correct answers. 
 
 
A fat girl served me in McDonald's at lunch time. She said 'sorry about the wait.'  I said 'don't worry fatty, you're bound to lose it eventually. ' 
 
 
I walked past a black kid sitting at a bus stop as I went into the bank. 

When I came out, he looked at me and said  'Any Change?' I said 'Nope, you’re still black' 
 
 
Snow in the forecast!  The TV weather gal said she was expecting 8 inches tonight. I thought to myself, fat chance with a face like that!  
 
 Years ago it was suggested that an apple a day kept the doctor away.

But since all the doctors are now Muslim, I've found that a bacon sandwich works best!

Japanese scientists have now created a camera with such an immense shutter speed that it is now possible to take a photograph of a woman with her mouth closed. 
 
 
I hate all this terrorist business. I used to love the days when you could look at an unattended bag on a train or bus and think to yourself :"I’m going to take that".
 
 
 
I had a Trivia competition win guaranteed until the last question which I got wrong.   

The question was: Where do women have the curliest hair?? The answer I should have given was Fiji.