30.9.11

U.S.-Born Terror Boss Anwar Al-Awlaki Killed In CIA-Led Drone Strike | Fox News

U.S.-Born Terror Boss Anwar Al-Awlaki Killed In CIA-Led Drone Strike | Fox News:

'via Blog this'

Man Robs Same Bank Three Days In A Row - Home - ShortList Magazine

Man Robs Same Bank Three Days In A Row - Home - ShortList Magazine:

'via Blog this'

Angler Jon Avery reels in biggest catfish ever caught by a Brit | The Sun |News

Angler Jon Avery reels in biggest catfish ever caught by a Brit | The Sun |News:

OMG!!! indescribable...

'via Blog this'

Children's books: HTML for Babies

Children's books: HTML for Babies:

'via Blog this'

zombie possession:


12 Craziest Sandals - Oddee.com

12 Craziest Sandals - Oddee.com:

'via Blog this'

Flip Over a Muffin Tin to Make Delicious Ready-to-Fill Cookie Bowls

Flip Over a Muffin Tin to Make Delicious Ready-to-Fill Cookie Bowls:

The neatest little trick you'll see all day for delicious cookie-bowls!!

'via Blog this'

5000 hits!!!

Hello to everyone who actually visits this page on a regular basis. 
I'm not much of a writer, but i am a big reader, which brought me to the creation of my blog. I just thought it'd be a new way to share the news, comics and other things that  i found of interest on the 'net. Seems like there's been a reasonable response to the work that i've put into it, with over 5000 hits since it's creation just over 3 months ago! I've never searched for fame, more like fortune for me, but after 39 years, i can see that i've achieved enough of both to keep me happy, and another big part of that is the support i get from my wife. Thank's to all of the visitors, and especially my Nanni. 


-Dustin

Guilty Plea On Tap In Tainted Yogurt Case | The Smoking Gun

Guilty Plea On Tap In Tainted Yogurt Case | The Smoking Gun:

'via Blog this'

Google search fails:


Driver says it's time to license cyclists - Canada - Canoe.ca

Driver says it's time to license cyclists - Canada - Canoe.ca:

'via Blog this'

Canada News: Flag to be wrapped in new law - thestar.com

Canada News: Flag to be wrapped in new law - thestar.com:

'via Blog this'

Pot plants found in South Middleton Township corn field during state police air patrol | PennLive.com

Pot plants found in South Middleton Township corn field during state police air patrol | PennLive.com:

'via Blog this'

Magic Mushrooms Can Make Lasting Personality Changes, Study Says

Magic Mushrooms Can Make Lasting Personality Changes, Study Says:

'via Blog this'

Magic Mushrooms Can Make Lasting Personality Changes, Study Says

Magic Mushrooms Can Make Lasting Personality Changes, Study Says:

'via Blog this'

The Onion’s tweets about Capitol gunfire prompt panic, mockery - BlogPost - The Washington Post

The Onion’s tweets about Capitol gunfire prompt panic, mockery - BlogPost - The Washington Post:

'via Blog this'

Wife of Mexican Drug Kingpin Gives Birth to Twins in Lancaster - ktla.com

Wife of Mexican Drug Kingpin Gives Birth to Twins in Lancaster - ktla.com:

'via Blog this'

U.S.: Iraq inks $3B deal for F-16 fighter jets - CBS News

U.S.: Iraq inks $3B deal for F-16 fighter jets - CBS News:

'via Blog this'

U.S.: Iraq inks $3B deal for F-16 fighter jets - CBS News

U.S.: Iraq inks $3B deal for F-16 fighter jets - CBS News:

'via Blog this'

GetJar: We've given away $1 million worth of premium apps | Wireless - CNET News

GetJar: We've given away $1 million worth of premium apps | Wireless - CNET News:

'via Blog this'

How to Make a Fun Interlocking Photo Display! | Photojojo

How to Make a Fun Interlocking Photo Display! | Photojojo:

'via Blog this'

Nissan developing car that reads your thoughts | Crave - CNET

Nissan developing car that reads your thoughts | Crave - CNET:

'via Blog this'

Your old iPhone could be worth a guaranteed $250 | Crave - CNET

Your old iPhone could be worth a guaranteed $250 | Crave - CNET:

'via Blog this'

Opportunities:


The Babysitter's here:


Welcome to Interbank:


Cheer for chesthare!


Dilbert


4 TV Ads That Depict Terrifying Alternate Universes | Cracked.com

4 TV Ads That Depict Terrifying Alternate Universes | Cracked.com:

'via Blog this'

Google+ traffic surges as it opens to the public but can they sustain it? - AfterDawn

Google+ traffic surges as it opens to the public but can they sustain it? - AfterDawn:

'via Blog this'

Paranormal Activity 3 Trailer (U.S. Version) - IMDb

Paranormal Activity 3 Trailer (U.S. Version) - IMDb:

'via Blog this'

Camaro Celebrates 45 Years of Awesomeness | Autopia | Wired.com

Camaro Celebrates 45 Years of Awesomeness | Autopia | Wired.com:

'via Blog this'

15 Things Worth Knowing About Coffee - The Oatmeal

15 Things Worth Knowing About Coffee - The Oatmeal:

'via Blog this'

Pole Shiners:


Spotify users get a 'private listening' mode, Facebook account still required -- Engadget

Spotify users get a 'private listening' mode, Facebook account still required -- Engadget:

'via Blog this'

Tag Heuer concept watch beats 3.6 million times per hour, $89,000 price tag gives heart palpitations -- Engadget

Tag Heuer concept watch beats 3.6 million times per hour, $89,000 price tag gives heart palpitations -- Engadget:

doesn't everyone need a 90000 dollar watch?

'via Blog this'

LG seeks ban on South Korean BMW and Audi sales, sticks out its LED lit tongue at Osram -- Engadget

LG seeks ban on South Korean BMW and Audi sales, sticks out its LED lit tongue at Osram -- Engadget:

good luck with that one boys...

'via Blog this'

29.9.11

location, location, location:


Stop the Conspiracy Theories, Al Qaeda Tells Iranian Leader - NYTimes.com

Stop the Conspiracy Theories, Al Qaeda Tells Iranian Leader - NYTimes.com:

'via Blog this'

Tennessee team vacates wins after mom’s Facebook scolding - Prep Rally - High School  - Yahoo! Sports

Tennessee team vacates wins after mom’s Facebook scolding - Prep Rally - High School - Yahoo! Sports:

you're in trouble now!

'via Blog this'

Ben & Jerry's Ice Cream - Schweddy Balls

Ben & Jerry's Ice Cream - Schweddy Balls:

'via Blog this'

Man dressed as construction worker robs Chandler bank | azfamily.com Phoenix

Man dressed as construction worker robs Chandler bank | azfamily.com Phoenix:

'via Blog this'

13-year-old driver killed during joyride - Canada - Canoe.ca

13-year-old driver killed during joyride - Canada - Canoe.ca:

'via Blog this'

Man Dies After Ferndale Minister's Sex, Drug Party - Detroit Local News Story - WDIV Detroit

Man Dies After Ferndale Minister's Sex, Drug Party - Detroit Local News Story - WDIV Detroit:

'via Blog this'

Is there any coffee in instant coffee? - English pravda.ru

Is there any coffee in instant coffee? - English pravda.ru:

'via Blog this'

Drunken tractor joyride lands man in jail - Weird News - Canoe.ca

Drunken tractor joyride lands man in jail - Weird News - Canoe.ca:

'via Blog this'

Cdn arrested in N.Y. with truckload of coke - World - Canoe.ca

Cdn arrested in N.Y. with truckload of coke - World - Canoe.ca:

'via Blog this'

U.S. arrests 2,900 convicted illegal immigrants - World - Canoe.ca

U.S. arrests 2,900 convicted illegal immigrants - World - Canoe.ca:

'via Blog this'

Bag of heads found outside Mexican school - World - Canoe.ca

Bag of heads found outside Mexican school - World - Canoe.ca:

'via Blog this'

Florida executes man for 1978 police killing - World - Canoe.ca

Florida executes man for 1978 police killing - World - Canoe.ca:

'via Blog this'

Baby Joseph dies at his home - Canada - Canoe.ca

Baby Joseph dies at his home - Canada - Canoe.ca:

'via Blog this'

Google: Rent your solar panels from us | Green Tech - CNET News

Google: Rent your solar panels from us | Green Tech - CNET News:

'via Blog this'

Google: Rent your solar panels from us | Green Tech - CNET News

Google: Rent your solar panels from us | Green Tech - CNET News:

'via Blog this'

$1.6M Battlefield 3 tournament coming in 2012 | Crave - CNET

$1.6M Battlefield 3 tournament coming in 2012 | Crave - CNET:

'via Blog this'

Old School Dealer:


Nintendo car!


a little demotivational...


Stay Positive:


Nervous Dilbert:


WonderDog!


A guy is driving around the back woods ofMontana and he sees a sign in front of a broken down shanty-style house: 'Talking Dog For Sale 'He rings the bell and the owner appears and tells him the dog is in the backyard.

The guy goes into the backyard and sees a
 nice looking Labrador retriever sitting there.

'You talk?' he asks. 

'Yep,' the Lab replies.
 

After the guy recovers from the shock of
 hearing a dog talk, he says 'So, what's your story?'

The Lab looks up and says, 'Well, I
 discovered that I could talk when I was pretty young.. I wanted to help the government, so I told the CIA.  In no time at all they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping.'  

'I was one of their most valuable spies for
 eight years running...   
But the jetting around really tired me out,
 and I knew I wasn't getting any younger so I decided to settle down. I signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security, wandering near suspicious characters and
listening in. I uncovered some incredible  ealings and was awarded a batch of medals.'
'I got married, had a  mess of puppies, and now I'm just retired.' 

The guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks
 the owner what he wants for the dog. 

'Ten dollars,' the guy says.

'Ten dollars? This dog is amazing! Why on
 earth are you selling him so cheap?'

'Because he's a liar. He's never been out of
 the yard'

Air Canada!


A guy is sitting in the bar in departures at a busy airport.

A beautiful woman walks in and sits down at the table next to him.
He decides because she's got a uniform on, she's probably an off-duty
flight attendant.

So he decides to have a go at picking her up by identifying the airline
she flies for, thereby impressing her greatly.

He leans across to her and says the Delta Airlines motto, 'We love to
fly and it shows'.

The woman looks at him blankly. He sits back and thinks up another line.

He leans forward again and delivers the Air France motto. 'Winning the
hearts of the world'.

Again she just stares at him with a slightly puzzled look on her face.

Undeterred, he tries again, this time saying the Malaysian Airlines
motto. 'Going beyond expectations'.

The woman looks at him sternly and says, 'What the f--k do you want?'

'Ah!' he says, sitting back with a smile on his face........"Air Canada ."

The Stella Awards:


It's time again for the annual Stella Awards....For those unfamiliar with these awards, they are named after 81-year-old Stella Liebeck who spilled hot coffee on herself and successfully sued the McDonald's in New Mexico , where she purchased coffee....You remember, she took the lid off the coffee and put it between her knees while she was driving.  Who would ever think one could get burned doing that, right?  That's right; these are awards for the most outlandish lawsuits and verdicts in the U.S.  You know, the kinds of cases that make you scratch your head and say WTF?  So keep your head scratcher handy.  

 

Here are the Stellas for the past year: 



   *  SEVENTH PLACE * 

Kathleen Robertson of Austin, Texas, was awarded $80,000 by a jury of her peers after breaking her ankle tripping over a toddler who was running inside a furniture store.  The store owners were understandably surprised by the verdict, considering the running toddler was her own son.
Start scratching!


* SIXTH PLACE * 

Carl Truman, 19, of Los Angeles, California, won $74,000 plus medical expenses when his neighbour ran over his hand with a Honda Accord. Truman apparently didn't notice there was someone at the wheel of the car when he was trying to steal his neighbour's hubcaps.
Scratch some more...



* FIFTH PLACE * 

Terrence Dickson, of Bristol, Pennsylvania, who was leaving a house he had just burglarized by way of the garage.  Unfortunately for Dickson, the automatic garage door opener malfunctioned and he could not get the garage door to open.  Worse, he couldn't re-enter the house because the door connecting the garage to the house locked when Dickson pulled it shut.  Forced to sit for eight, count 'em, EIGHT days and survive on a case of Pepsi and a large bag of dry dog food, he sued the homeowner's insurance company claiming undue mental anguish.  Amazingly, the jury said the insurance company must pay Dickson $500,000 for his anguish.  We should all have this kind of anguish. 

 
Keep scratching .. There are more......
Double hand scratching after this one.....


* FOURTH PLACE * 

Jerry Williams, of Little Rock, Arkansas, garnered 4th Place in the Stella's when he was awarded $14,500 plus medical expenses after being bitten on the butt by his next door neighbour's beagle -- even though the beagle was on a chain in its owner's fenced yard.  Williams did not get as much as he asked for because the jury believed the beagle might have been provoked at the time of the butt bite because Williams had climbed over the fence into the yard and repeatedly shot the dog with a pellet gun.
Pick a new spot to scratch, you're getting a bald spot..


* THIRD PLACE *

Amber Carson of Lancaster, Pennsylvania, because a jury ordered a Philadelphia restaurant to pay her $113,500 after she slipped on a spilled soft drink and broke her tailbone.  The reason the soft drink was on the floor: Ms. Carson had thrown it at her boyfriend 30 seconds earlier during an argument.
Only two more so ease up on the scratching....



*SECOND PLACE* 

Kara Walton, of Claymont, Delaware, sued the owner of a night club in a  nearby city because she fell from the bathroom window to the floor, knocking out her two front teeth.  Even though Ms.Walton was trying to sneak through the ladies room window to avoid paying the $3.50 cover charge, the jury said the night club had to pay her $12,000 ..... Oh yeah, plus dental expenses.   
OK.  Here we go!!


* FIRST PLACE * 

This year's runaway First Place Stella Award winner was:  Mrs. Merv Grazinski, of Oklahoma City, Oklahoma, who purchased new 32-foot Winnebago motor home.  On her first trip home, from an Oklahoma University football game, having driven on to the freeway, she set the cruise control at 70 mph and calmly left the driver's seat to go to the back of the Winnebago to make herself a sandwich.  Not surprisingly, the motor home left the freeway, crashed and overturned.  Also not surprisingly,
Mrs. Grazinski sued Winnebago for not putting in the owner's manual that she couldn't actually leave the driver's seat while the cruise control was set.  The Oklahoma jury awarded her -- are you sitting down? -- $1,750,000 PLUS a new motor home!  Winnebago actually changed their manuals as a result of this suit, just in case Mrs. Grazinski has any relatives who might also buy a motor home.

Getting old:


An elderly gent was invited to an old friend’s home for dinner one evening. 
He was impressed by the way his buddy preceded every request to his wife 
with endearing terms such as: Honey, My Love, Darling, Sweetheart, 
Pumpkin, etc. The couple had been married almost 70 years and, clearly, 
they were still very much in love.

While the wife was in the kitchen, the man 
leaned over to his host, “I think it’s wonderful that, after all these years, you 
still call your wife those loving pet names.”

The old man hung his head. 
“I have to tell you the truth,” he said, “Her name slipped my mind 
about 10 years ago, and I’m scared to death to ask the cranky old bitch what it is.”

How Alcohol Affects Your Decision-Making Process

How Alcohol Affects Your Decision-Making Process:

'via Blog this'

MagicJack for iPhone Provides Unlimited Free Calling Within the US and Canada

MagicJack for iPhone Provides Unlimited Free Calling Within the US and Canada:

'via Blog this'

This 90 Percent Successful Vaccine May Be Our Best Chance to Eradicate AIDS

This 90 Percent Successful Vaccine May Be Our Best Chance to Eradicate AIDS:

'via Blog this'

How to Automatically Download Movies as Soon as They're Released with CouchPotato

How to Automatically Download Movies as Soon as They're Released with CouchPotato:

'via Blog this'

Peel a Head of Garlic in Less than 10 Seconds with Two Bowls

Peel a Head of Garlic in Less than 10 Seconds with Two Bowls:

low-tech Awesome!!
'via Blog this'

28.9.11

Ferroelectric transistor memory could run on 99 percent less power than flash -- Engadget

Ferroelectric transistor memory could run on 99 percent less power than flash -- Engadget:

'via Blog this'

Easy Pumpkin Cheesecake Muffins - StumbleUpon

Easy Pumpkin Cheesecake Muffins - StumbleUpon:

'via Blog this'

Proximitips for Android Delivers Local News, Photos, and Tweets

Proximitips for Android Delivers Local News, Photos, and Tweets:

'via Blog this'

Three dead after misread medical scans - Canada - Canoe.ca

Three dead after misread medical scans - Canada - Canoe.ca:

'via Blog this'

Sex Bid Rebuffed, Woman Hits Man, Is Nailed By Cops | The Smoking Gun

Sex Bid Rebuffed, Woman Hits Man, Is Nailed By Cops | The Smoking Gun:

'via Blog this'

U.S. tells court bin Laden photos must stay secret – USATODAY.com

U.S. tells court bin Laden photos must stay secret – USATODAY.com:

'via Blog this'

Warner Music exec: We finally figured out free | Media Maverick - CNET News

Warner Music exec: We finally figured out free | Media Maverick - CNET News:

'via Blog this'

Today's music video: Mad World by Gary Jules

Goes well with the operations out here today...

FAIL Blog: Best of September FAILS - Epic Fail Funny Videos and Funny Pictures

FAIL Blog: Best of September FAILS - Epic Fail Funny Videos and Funny Pictures:

'via Blog this'

Halloween 'Anna Rexia' costume sparks outrage - Fashionist

Halloween 'Anna Rexia' costume sparks outrage - Fashionist:

'via Blog this'

Harry Potter dog ‘Padfoot’ found at U.K. shelter - The Screening Room

Harry Potter dog ‘Padfoot’ found at U.K. shelter - The Screening Room:

'via Blog this'

Could Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore be kaput? - Dramarama

Could Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore be kaput? - Dramarama:

'via Blog this'

Today in Pictures: :)











Trial starts for pastor in murder-for-hire case - Houston Chronicle

Trial starts for pastor in murder-for-hire case - Houston Chronicle:

'via Blog this'

In North Dakota, Wasted Natural Gas Flickers Against the Sky - NYTimes.com

In North Dakota, Wasted Natural Gas Flickers Against the Sky - NYTimes.com:

'via Blog this'

Eastern Europe 2011 - Special Report — Poland's Next Problem - CNBC

Eastern Europe 2011 - Special Report — Poland's Next Problem - CNBC:

'via Blog this'

Dick Cheney's Vancouver visit sparks protest - British Columbia - CBC News

Dick Cheney's Vancouver visit sparks protest - British Columbia - CBC News:

'via Blog this'

KWGS: Arkansas' hillbilly image resonates into 21st century (2011-09-25)

KWGS: Arkansas' hillbilly image resonates into 21st century (2011-09-25):

'via Blog this'

Legal Blog Watch

Legal Blog Watch: computer questions & cops...

'via Blog this'

Hot #Cheerleading Coach/Teacher Accused of Sex With Three High School Boys – Michelle Preston | BadJocks.com

Hot #Cheerleading Coach/Teacher Accused of Sex With Three High School Boys – Michelle Preston | BadJocks.com:

'via Blog this'

Did ITV Use Videogame Footage And Claim It As An IRA Video? - Virals - ShortList Magazine

Did ITV Use Videogame Footage And Claim It As An IRA Video? - Virals - ShortList Magazine:

'via Blog this'

Bristol Palin gets in confrontation, but was it for her reality show? - CNN.com

Bristol Palin gets in confrontation, but was it for her reality show? - CNN.com:

'via Blog this'

Man selling his own thumb to save haunted train museum

Man selling his own thumb to save haunted train museum:

'via Blog this'

Teen’s parents: After suicide, he’s still being bullied - TODAY People - TODAY.com

Teen’s parents: After suicide, he’s still being bullied - TODAY People - TODAY.com:

'via Blog this'

Scientific American Blog Network

Scientific American Blog Network: All about DSLR's

'via Blog this'

Microsoft halts another botnet: Kelihos | InSecurity Complex - CNET News

Microsoft halts another botnet: Kelihos | InSecurity Complex - CNET News:

'via Blog this'

Acer's Ultrabook to rattle market at $899, says report | Nanotech - The Circuits Blog - CNET News

Acer's Ultrabook to rattle market at $899, says report | Nanotech - The Circuits Blog - CNET News:

'via Blog this'

Apple special Event: Let’s talk iPhone « CanoeTech Blog

Apple special Event: Let’s talk iPhone « CanoeTech Blog:

'via Blog this'

Male porn star sues government for $100M - Canada - Canoe.ca

Male porn star sues government for $100M - Canada - Canoe.ca:

'via Blog this'

Botched surgery leaves woman with fused breasts - World - Canoe.ca

Botched surgery leaves woman with fused breasts - World - Canoe.ca:

'via Blog this'

U.S. fugitive caught after 41 years - World - Canoe.ca

U.S. fugitive caught after 41 years - World - Canoe.ca:

'via Blog this'

I give in, plug me into the Facebook matrix | Digital Media - CNET News

I give in, plug me into the Facebook matrix | Digital Media - CNET News:

'via Blog this'

Dad allegedly made porn with 7-year-old daughter - Crime - Canoe.ca

Dad allegedly made porn with 7-year-old daughter - Crime - Canoe.ca:

'via Blog this'

Roommate torture trial begins - Crime - Canoe.ca

Roommate torture trial begins - Crime - Canoe.ca:

'via Blog this'

Dilbert:


Life in the '70's...and now.

If you are 36, or older, you might think this is hilarious! 

When I was a kid, adults used to bore me to tears with their tedious diatribes about how hard things were. When they were growing up; what with walking twenty-five miles to school every morning....
 Uphill... Barefoot... BOTH ways...yadda, yadda, yadda 

And I remember promising myself that when I grew up, there was no way in hell I was going to lay
 a bunch of crap like that on my kids about how hard I had it and how easy they've got it!



But now that I'm over the ripe old age of forty, I can't help but look around and notice the youth of today. You've got it so easy! I mean, compared to my childhood, you live in a damn Utopia!
 And I hate to say it, but you kids today, you don't know how good you've got it! 

1) I mean, when I was a kid we didn't have the Internet. If we wanted to know something, we had to go to the damn library and look it up ourselves, in the card catalog!!
 

2) There was no email!! We had to actually write somebody a letter - with a pen!
Then you had to walk all the way across the street and put it in the mailbox, and it would take like a week to get there! Stamps were 10 cents! 

3) Child Protective Services didn't care if our parents beat us. As a matter of fact, the parents of all my friends also had permission to kick our ass! Nowhere was safe!


4) There were no MP3's or Napsters or iTunes! If you wanted to steal music, you had to hitchhike to the record store and shoplift it yourself!
 

5) Or you had to wait around all day to tape it off the radio, and the DJ would usually talk over the beginning and @#*% it all up! There were no CD players! We had tape decks in our car. We'd play our favorite tape and "eject" it when finished, and then the tape would come undone rendering it useless. Cause, hey, that's how we rolled, Baby! Dig?
 

6) We didn't have fancy crap like Call Waiting! If you were on the phone and somebody else called, they got a busy signal, that's it! 


7) There weren't any freakin' cell phones either. If you left the house, you just didn't make a damn call or receive one. You actually had to be out of touch with your "friends". OH MY GOSH!!! Think of the horror... not being in touch with someone 24/7!!! And then there's TEXTING. Yeah, right. Please! You kids have no idea how annoying you are. 


8) And we didn't have fancy Caller ID either! When the phone rang, you had no idea who it was! It could be your school, your parents, your boss, your bookie, your drug dealer, the collection agent... you just didn't know!!! You had to pick it up and take your chances, mister!

9) We didn't have any fancy PlayStation or Xbox video games with high-resolution 3-D graphics! We
 had the Atari 2600! With games like 'Space Invaders' and 'Asteroids'. Your screen guy was a little square! You actually had to use your imagination!!! And there were no multiple levels or screens, it was just one screen... Forever! And you could never win. The game just kept getting harder and harder and faster and faster until you died! Just like LIFE! 

10) You had to use a little book called a TV Guide to find out what was on! You were screwed when it came to channel surfing! You had to get off your ass and walk over to the TV to change the channel!!! NO REMOTES!!! Oh, no, what's the world coming to?!?!


11) There was no Cartoon Network either! You could only get cartoons on Saturday Morning. Do you hear what I'm saying? We had to wait 
ALL WEEK for cartoons, you spoiled little rat-bastards!

12) And we didn't have microwaves. If we wanted to heat something up, we had to use the stove! Imagine that! 





13) And our parents told us to stay outside and play... all day long. Oh, no, no electronics to soothe and comfort. And if you came back inside... you were doing chores! 





And car seats - oh, please! Mom threw you in the back seat and you hung on. If you were lucky, you got the "safety arm" across the chest at the last moment if she had to stop suddenly, and if your head hit the dashboard, well that was your fault for calling "shot gun" in the first place! 




See! That's exactly what I'm talking about! You kids today have got it too easy. You're spoiled rotten! You guys wouldn't have lasted five minutes back in 1970 or any time before!

Mars and Venus:

A  WOMAN'S POEM:
Before I lay me down to sleep,
I pray for a man who's not a creep,
One who's  handsome, smart and strong.
One who loves to listen long, 
One who thinks before he speaks,
One who'll call, not wait  for weeks.
I pray he's rich and self-employed,
And when I  spend, won't be annoyed.
Pull out my chair and hold my hand. 
Massage my feet and help me stand.
Oh send a king to make  me queen.
A man who loves to cook and clean.
I pray this  man will love no other..
And relish visits with my mother.  
 

   A MAN'S POEM:
 
I pray for a deaf-mute gymnast nymphomaniac with
  big tits who owns a bar on a golf course,
  and loves to send me fishing and drinking. This
  doesn't rhyme and I  don't give a shit.

27.9.11

Dan Akyroid c.1975:


"Club drugs" replacing heroin, crack in UK: Experts

"Club drugs" replacing heroin, crack in UK: Experts:

'via Blog this'

'We'll leave the light on for you' | argument, resumed, leave - Northwest Florida Daily News

'We'll leave the light on for you' | argument, resumed, leave - Northwest Florida Daily News:

'via Blog this'

Undercover detectives make prostitution arrests in Sarasota - WWSB ABC 7 MySuncoast Florida

Undercover detectives make prostitution arrests in Sarasota - WWSB ABC 7 MySuncoast Florida:

'via Blog this'

Former DC Mayor Marion Barry's Son to Be Sentenced In Drug Case

Former DC Mayor Marion Barry's Son to Be Sentenced In Drug Case:

'via Blog this'

Nancy Grace Suffers Wardrobe Malfunction on DWTS

Nancy Grace Suffers Wardrobe Malfunction on DWTS:

'via Blog this'

cyanide & happiness


Australia to allow women in combat - World - Canoe.ca

Australia to allow women in combat - World - Canoe.ca:

'via Blog this'

Use It Better: The Worst Trends in Tech: Scientific American

Use It Better: The Worst Trends in Tech: Scientific American:

'via Blog this'

$240 million in silver will be salvaged from WWII ship sunk by Nazi torpedo - ABC News

$240 million in silver will be salvaged from WWII ship sunk by Nazi torpedo - ABC News:

'via Blog this'

Turns Out That $65,000 Is What It Costs To Book The Cake Boss | The Smoking Gun

Turns Out That $65,000 Is What It Costs To Book The Cake Boss | The Smoking Gun:

'via Blog this'

'Corpse' Found Alive In Brazilian Morgue - Life - Stylist Magazine

'Corpse' Found Alive In Brazilian Morgue - Life - Stylist Magazine:

'via Blog this'

Perv to learn fate Oct. 6 | Ottawa & Region | News | Ottawa Sun

Perv to learn fate Oct. 6 | Ottawa & Region | News | Ottawa Sun:

'via Blog this'

Doritos creator dies in Dallas at 97 - Houston Chronicle

Doritos creator dies in Dallas at 97 - Houston Chronicle:

'via Blog this'

Cheap dates - NYPOST.com

Cheap dates - NYPOST.com:

'via Blog this'

Man dies in plunge down elevator shaft in Midtown Manhattan | 7online.com

Man dies in plunge down elevator shaft in Midtown Manhattan | 7online.com:

'via Blog this'

Rathika Sitsabaiesan, Canadian Parliament Member, Photoshopped (PHOTOS, POLL)

Rathika Sitsabaiesan, Canadian Parliament Member, Photoshopped (PHOTOS, POLL):

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Bluetooth Sports Earbuds Jam Immovably Into Your Ears | Gadget Lab | Wired.com

Bluetooth Sports Earbuds Jam Immovably Into Your Ears | Gadget Lab | Wired.com:

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Kelly Clarkson: Dating is like 'American Idol' - Entertainment - Access Hollywood - TODAY.com

Kelly Clarkson: Dating is like 'American Idol' - Entertainment - Access Hollywood - TODAY.com:

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New York man patents perfect snowman - Weird News - Canoe.ca

New York man patents perfect snowman - Weird News - Canoe.ca:

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Boeing finally delivers first 787 Dreamliner | Geek Gestalt - CNET News

Boeing finally delivers first 787 Dreamliner | Geek Gestalt - CNET News:

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Samsung Galaxy S II Hits 10 Million Sales Worldwide | Gadget Lab | Wired.com

Samsung Galaxy S II Hits 10 Million Sales Worldwide | Gadget Lab | Wired.com:

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Votes for Saudi women a big 'small step' - World - Canoe.ca

Votes for Saudi women a big 'small step' - World - Canoe.ca:

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Cemetery Worker Stole Guitar From Army Vet’s Casket | The Smoking Gun

Cemetery Worker Stole Guitar From Army Vet’s Casket | The Smoking Gun:

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Crack-smoking cop wants job back or money - Canada - Canoe.ca

Crack-smoking cop wants job back or money - Canada - Canoe.ca:

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Need a new roof? Solar power's included | Green Tech - CNET News

Need a new roof? Solar power's included | Green Tech - CNET News:

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Mounties guilty of beating man outside bar - Crime - Canoe.ca

Mounties guilty of beating man outside bar - Crime - Canoe.ca:

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Teen gets 10 years for slaying 'evil' dad - Crime - Canoe.ca

Teen gets 10 years for slaying 'evil' dad - Crime - Canoe.ca:

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Fitness app Fleetly aims to make workouts a game | Webware - CNET

Fitness app Fleetly aims to make workouts a game | Webware - CNET:

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Spotify users steamed over Facebook requirement | Digital Media - CNET News

Spotify users steamed over Facebook requirement | Digital Media - CNET News:

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De-motivational:


Infested wedding cake: Yumm!


Nike burger w/pickles?


What was he thinking?


WTF?!?!


Saskatchewan:


    The only cow in a small town in Nova Scotia stopped giving milk. The people did some research and found they could buy a cow in Saskatchewan for $200.00.

They bought the cow from Saskatchewan and the cow was wonderful. It produced milk all of the time, and the people were pleased and very happy.

They decided to acquire a bull to mate with the cow and produce more cows like it. They would never have to worry about their milk supply again.

They bought a bull and put it in the pasture with their beloved cow.

However whenever the bull came close to the cow, the cow would move away. No matter what approach the bull tried, the cow would move away from the bull and he could not succeed in his quest.

The people were very upset and decided to ask the Vet, who was very wise, what to do. They told the Vet what was happening:

"Whenever the bull approaches our cow, she moves away. If he approaches from the back, she moves forward. When he approaches her from the front, she backs off. An approach from the side and she walks away to the other side."

The Vet thinks about this for a minute and asked, "Did you buy this cow in Saskatchewan ?"

The people were dumbfounded, since they had never mentioned where they bought the cow.

"You are truly a wise Vet," they said. "How did you know we got the cow in Saskatchewan ?
The Vet replied with a distant look in his eye, "My wife is from Saskatchewan. 

Economics:

Suppose that every day, ten men go out for beer and the bill for all ten comes to $100.  If they paid their bill the way we pay our taxes, it would go something like this:

The first four men (the poorest) would pay nothing.
The fifth would pay $1.
The sixth would pay $3.
The seventh would pay $7.
The eighth would pay $12.
The ninth would pay $18.
The tenth man (the richest) would pay $59.

So, that's what they decided to do.  The ten men drank in the bar every day and seemed quite happy with the arrangement, until one day, the owner threw them a curve.  He said, "Since you are all  such good customers, I'm going to reduce the cost of your daily beer by $20. Drinks for the ten now cost just $80."

The group still wanted to pay their bill the way we pay our taxes, so the first four men were unaffected.  They would still drink for free.  But what about the other six men -- the paying customers?

How could they divide the $20 windfall so that everyone would get his "fair share"?  They realized that $20 divided by six is $3.33.  But if they subtracted that from every body's share, then the fifth man and the sixth man would each end up being paid to drink his beer.  So the bar owner suggested that it would be fair to reduce each man's bill by roughly the same amount, and he proceeded to work out the amounts each should pay!

And so:

The fifth man, like the first four, now paid nothing (100% savings).
The sixth now paid $2 instead of $3 (33% savings).
The seventh now pay $5 instead of $7 (28%savings).
The eighth now paid $9 instead of $12 (25% savings).
The ninth now paid $14 instead of $18 (22% savings).
The tenth now paid $49 instead of $59 (16% savings).

Each of the six was better off than before. And the first four continued to drink for free.  But once outside the restaurant, the men began to compare their savings.

"I only got a dollar out of the $20," declared the sixth man.  He pointed to the tenth man, "but he got $10!"

"Yeah, that's right,' exclaimed the fifth man.  "I only saved a dollar, too.  It's unfair that he got ten times more than I!"

"That's true!!" shouted the seventh man.  "Why should he get $10 back when I got only $2 ?  The wealthy get all the breaks!"

"Wait a minute," yelled the first four men in unison.  "We didn't get anything at all.  The system exploits the poor!"

The nine men surrounded the tenth and beat him up.

The next night the tenth man didn't show up for drinks, so the nine sat down and had beers without him.  But when it came time to pay the bill, they discovered something important.  They didn't have enough money between all of them for even half of the bill!

And that, boys and girls, journalists and college professors, is how our tax system works.  The people who pay the highest taxes get the most benefit from a tax reduction.  Tax them too much, attack them for being wealthy, and they just may not show up any more.  In fact, they might start drinking overseas where the atmosphere is somewhat friendlier.

David R. Kamerschen, Ph.D.
Professor of Economics, University of Georgia
For those who understand, no explanation is needed.
For those who do not understand, no explanation is possible.

New Apple product on the way:

Apple Computer announced today that it has developed a computer chip that can store and play high fidelity music in women's breast implants.

The iTit will cost between $499.00 and $699.00 depending on speaker size.



This is considered to be a major breakthrough because women have always complained about men staring at their tits and not listening to them.

26.9.11

New countertops:


A man wakes up in the hospital bandaged from head to foot.
The doctor comes in and says, "Ah, I see you've regained consciousness. Now you probably won't remember, but you were in a huge pile-up on the freeway. You're going to be ok, you'll walk again and everything, but your penis was severed in the accident and we couldn't find it."
The man groans, but the doctor goes on, "You have $9000 in insurance compensation coming and we now have the technology to build a new penis. They work great but they don't come cheap. It's roughly $1000 an inch."
The man perks up.
"So," the doctor says, "You must decide how many inches you want. But I understand that you have been married for over thirty years and this is something you should discuss with your wife. If you had a five incher before and get a nine incher now she might be a bit put out. If you had a nine incher before and you decide to only invest in a five incher now, she might be disappointed. It's important that she plays a role in helping you make a decision."
The man agrees to talk it over with his wife.
The doctor comes back the next day, "So, have you spoken with your wife?"
"Yes I have," says the man.
"And has she helped you make a decision?"
"Yes" says the man.
"What is your decision?" asks the doctor.

"We're getting granite countertops."

Tampa father and son accused in early morning carjacking, sexual battery - St. Petersburg Times

Tampa father and son accused in early morning carjacking, sexual battery - St. Petersburg Times:

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How security is becoming a must-have on smartphones (Inside Apps) | Wireless - CNET News

How security is becoming a must-have on smartphones (Inside Apps) | Wireless - CNET News:

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Skid Mark Safe – Disgusting, But If It Works… - Personal Finance Advice

Skid Mark Safe – Disgusting, But If It Works… - Personal Finance Advice:

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cyanide & happiness


Dubbing Swiss porn: LOL


U.S. citizen killed at Kabul CIA base - World - Canoe.ca

U.S. citizen killed at Kabul CIA base - World - Canoe.ca:

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doesn't work for me..


Cat Scratch Fever!!

cat scratch fever!

owning-private-island-kiplinger: Personal Finance News from Yahoo! Finance

owning-private-island-kiplinger: Personal Finance News from Yahoo! Finance:

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Words that annoy us all, you know. | cleveland.com

Words that annoy us all, you know. | cleveland.com:

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Rick Steves: How to avoid travel scams in Europe - USATODAY.com

Rick Steves: How to avoid travel scams in Europe - USATODAY.com:

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Poverty isn’t just a game - Al Lewis - MarketWatch

Poverty isn’t just a game - Al Lewis - MarketWatch:

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Attack of the hairy crazy ants: The two-millimeter pests crawling through America | Mail Online

Attack of the hairy crazy ants: The two-millimeter pests crawling through America | Mail Online:

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C'MONNN!!!


World's largest flashlight debuts in Germany - Weird News - Canoe.ca

World's largest flashlight debuts in Germany - Weird News - Canoe.ca:

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Fans mourn Barcelona's last bullfight - World - Canoe.ca

Fans mourn Barcelona's last bullfight - World - Canoe.ca:

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Pinball wizard sets sights on No. 1 - Canada - Canoe.ca

Pinball wizard sets sights on No. 1 - Canada - Canoe.ca:

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hellooooo kitty!


Churches: