Lawyers..

YOU BETCHA

The United Way realized that it had never received a donation

from the city's most successful lawyer. So a United Way

volunteer paid the lawyer a visit in his lavish office.

The volunteer opened the meeting by saying, "Our research

shows that even though your annual income is over ten million

dollars, you don't give a penny to charity. Wouldn't you like

to give something back to your community through the United Way?"

The lawyer thinks for a minute and says, "First, did your research

also show you that my mother is dying after a long, painful illness

and she has huge medical bills that are far beyond her ability to pay?" Embarrassed, the United Way rep mumbles, "Uh-no, I didn't know that."

"Secondly," says the lawyer, "did it show that my brother, a disabled

veteran, is blind and confined to a wheelchair and is unable to support

his wife and six children?"

The stricken United Way rep begins to stammer an apology, but is cut

off again. "Thirdly, did your research also show you that my sister's

husband died in a dreadful car accident, leaving her penniless with a

mortgage and three children, one of whom is disabled and another

who has learning disabilities requiring an array of private tutors?"

The humiliated United Way rep, completely beaten, says, "I'm so sorry,

I had no idea. "And the lawyer says, "So. . . if I didn't give any money to

them, what the fuck makes you think I'd give any to you?"