The Golfer & his house:

At dawn the telephone rings, "Hello, Senor Rod? This is 
> Ernesto, the caretaker at your country house."
> >
> >"Ah yes, Ernesto. What can I do for you? Is there a problem?"
> >
> >
> >"Um, I am just calling to advise you, Senor Rod, that your 
> parrot, he is dead".
> >
> >
> >"My parrot? Dead? The one that won the International competition?"
> >
> >
> >"Si, Senor, that's the one."
> >
> >
> >"Damn! That's a pity! I spent a small fortune on that bird. 
> What did he die from?"
> >
> >
> >"From eating the rotten meat, Senor Rod."
> >
> >
> >"Rotten meat? Who the hell fed him rotten meat?"
> >
> >
> >"Nobody, Senor. He ate the meat of the dead horse."
> >
> >
> >"Dead horse? What dead horse?"
> >
> >
> >"The thoroughbred, Senor Rod."
> >
> >
> >"My prize thoroughbred is dead?"
> >
> >
> >"Yes, Senor Rod, he died from all that work pulling the water cart."
> >
> >
> >"Are you insane? What water cart?"
> >
> >
> >"The one we used to put out the fire, Senor."
> >
> >
> >"Good Lord! What fire are you talking about, man?"
> >
> >
> >"The one at your house, Senor! A candle fell and the curtains 
> caught on fire."
> >
> >
> >"What the hell? Are you saying that my mansion is destroyed 
> because of a candle?!"
> >
> >
> >"Yes, Senor Rod."
> >
> >
> >"But there's electricity at the house! What was the candle for?"
> >
> >
> >"For the funeral, Senor Rod."
> >
> >
> >"WHAT BLOODY FUNERAL??!!"
> >
> >
> >"Your wife's, Senor Rod". She showed up very late one night and 
> I thought she was a thief, so I hit her with your new Ping G15 
> 204g titanium head golf club with the TFC 149D graphite shaft."
> >
> >
> >SILENCE........... LONG SILENCE.........VERY LONG SILENCE.
> >
> >
> >"Ernesto, if you broke that driver, you're in deep shit."