"The Secret Service issued new rules of conduct for agents Friday. They can no longer get drunk, procure hookers or go to strip clubs.
The rules say that from now on, if agents feel compelled to engage in such behavior, they can run for public office like everyone else"!
Saint Peter is sitting at the Pearly Gates when two guys wearing hoodies arrived.
St. Peter looked out through the Gates and said "Wait here. I will be right back."
St. Peter goes over to God's chambers and tells him who is waiting to come in.
God says to Peter: "How many times do I have to tell you, you can't be judgmental here. This is heaven. All are loved. All are brothers. Go back and let them in!"
St. Peter goes back to the Gates, looks around, and lets out a heavy sigh.
He returns to God's chambers and says "Well, they're gone."
The guys wearing hoodies?" asked God.
"No. The Pearly Gates.
Ms. Merkel arrives at passport control in Athens:
"Nationality" asks the immigration officer.
"German" she replied.
"Occupation"
"No, just here for a few days"...
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