Government:

> For those that don't know about history ... Here is a condensed
> version for your edification.
>
> Humans originally existed as members of small bands of nomadic 
> hunters/gatherers. They lived on deer in the mountains during the 
> summer and would go to the coast and live on fish and lobster in the
winter.
>
> The two most important events in all of history were the invention 
> of beer and the invention of the wheel. The wheel was invented to get 
> man to the beer. These were the foundation of modern civilization and 
> together were the catalyst for the splitting of humanity into two 
> distinct
> subgroups:
>
> 1 . Liberals
> 2. Conservatives.
>
> Once beer was discovered, it required grain and that was the 
> beginning of agriculture. Neither the glass bottle nor aluminum can 
> were invented yet, so while our early humans were sitting around 
> waiting for them to be invented, they just stayed close to the 
> brewery. That's how villages were formed.
>
> Some men spent their days tracking and killing animals to BBQ at 
> night while they were drinking beer. This was the beginning of what is 
> known as the Conservative movement...
>
> Other men who were weaker and less skilled at hunting learned to 
> live off the conservatives by showing up for the nightly BBQ's and 
> doing the sewing, fetching, and hair dressing. This was the beginning 
> of the Liberal movement.
>
> Some of these liberal men eventually evolved into women. They 
> became known as girlie-men. Some noteworthy liberal achievements 
> include the domestication of cats, the invention of group therapy, 
> group hugs, and the concept of Democratic voting to decide how to 
> divide the meat and beer that conservatives provided.
>
>
> Over the years conservatives came to be symbolized by the largest, 
> most powerful land animal on earth, the elephant. Liberals are 
> symbolized by the jackass for obvious reasons.
>
> Modern liberals like imported beer (with lime added), but most 
> prefer white wine or imported bottled water. They eat raw fish but 
> like their beef well done. Sushi, tofu, and French food are standard
liberal fare..
> Another interesting evolutionary side note: most of their women have 
> higher testosterone levels than their men. Most social workers, personal
> injury attorneys, journalists, dreamers in Hollywood and group 
> therapists are liberals. Liberals invented the designated hitter rule 
> because it wasn't fair to make the pitcher also bat.
>
> Conservatives drink domestic beer, mostly Molson's or Labatt's. 
> They eat Alberta grain fed red meat and still provide for their women.
> Conservatives are big game hunters, rodeo cowboys, lumberjacks, 
> construction workers, firemen, GE Area Sales Managers, medical 
> doctors, police officers, engineers, corporate executives, athletes, 
> members of the military, airline pilots and generally anyone who works
productively.
> Conservatives who own companies hire other conservatives who want to 
> work for a living.
>
> Liberals produce little or nothing. They like to govern the 
> producers and decide what to do with the production. Liberals believe 
> Europeans are more enlightened than Canadians. That is why most of the 
> liberals remained in Europe when conservatives were coming to North 
> America . They crept in after the Wild West was tamed and created a 
> business of trying to get more for nothing.
>
> Here ends today's lesson in world history:
>
> It should be noted that a Liberal may have a momentary urge to 
> angrily respond to the above before forwarding it.
>
> A Conservative will simply laugh and be so convinced of the 
> absolute truth of this history that it will be forwarded immediately 
> to other true believers and to more liberals just to hack them off.
>
>
> And there you have it. Let your next action reveal your true self
>
>
>
> Moi? I think I'm still stuck in my Reform Party mode.