The old lady in heaven:

>  An old lady dies and goes to heaven.She's chatting it up with 
> St. Peter at the Pearly Gates when all of a sudden she hears the 
> most awful, blood curdling screams.Don't worry about that,' says 
> St. Peter, 'It's only someone having the holes drilled into her 
> shoulder blades for the wings.'The old lady looks a little 
> uncomfortable but carries on with the conversation.A few minutes 
> later, there are more blood curdling screams.'Oh my Goodness,' 
> says the old lady,'now what is happening?''Not to worry,' says 
> St. Peter,'She's just having her head drilled to fit the 
> halo.''I can't do this,' says the old lady, 'I'm going to 
> hell.''You can't go to that nasty place,' says St. Peter.'You'll 
> be raped and taken advantage of.''Maybe so,' says the old 
> lady,but I've already got the holes for that.'