The break in

A man breaks into a house looking for money and jewelery.

Inside, he finds a couple in bed. He orders the guy out of the bed and ties him to a chair. While tying the home owner's wife to the bed the convict gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom.

While he's in there, the husband whispers over to his wife: “Listen, this guy is an escaped convict. Look at his clothes! He's probably spent a lot of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck. If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain...do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is obviously very dangerous.

If he gets angry, he'll kill us both. Be strong, honey… I love you!”

His wife responds: “He wasn't kissing my neck. He was whisperingin my ear. He told me that he's gay, thinks you're cute, and asked if we had any Vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey... I love you too.”

Hero polak!

Bishop who built 400 secret churches in communist Poland passes away. St. Peter widens Pearly Gates to accommodate passage of extra-giant brass balls [Hero]

Lol @ cops

Police recover stolen patrol car

R.I.P.

Body of India rape victim arrives home in New Delhi

The voice of reason.

Obama skeptical of NRA proposal to put more guns in schools

Cliff deal almost done?

Hopes rise for U.S. fiscal deal, with hours remaining

Nice shots!

My personal best photographs of 2012

Mac girls?

Average female Mac user is hot, awkwardly dressed and has a huge cranium [Silly]

What year is it again?

Apparently, the school thinks an appropriate punishment for a white student putting a noose and KKK paraphernalia on the desk of a black classmate is a suspension instead of expulsion and criminal charges [Sick]

Breaking bad, China style.

Drug bust in China nabs 200 pounds of methamphetamine. Yes folks, we're now even outsourcing our meth houses [Fail]

Things are banned all over.

LG wants Samsung Galaxy Note 10.1 banned in Korea

PlayStation 2 getting old..

Game over for PlayStation 2 in Japan

Subway help in NYC.

New iOS app shows NY subway arrival times

Expensive divorce..

Berlusconi to pay 36 million euros a year divorce settlement

Merry Christmas?

Child, 9, eats crack cocaine on Christmas

Freedom!

Student gets restraining order against parents

WTF?

Claim seeks $100M for Newtown massacre survivor

A special place in hell

India rape suspects face murder charges

Meanwhile in

Montreal storm clean-up to cost $25 million

Costly mistake.

Instagram usage dived after policy brouhaha: AppData

WTF?

If you get too winded from the strenuous activity of ordering a burger to get around to unwrapping it, well, good news [Strange]

American

"Forgive everyone everything." The largest mass execution in the US took place 150 years ago today. I am not so sure we've changed [Sad]

Taco time?

When you tell your deputies to: "go out there and get me some of those taco eaters." You shouldn't be too surprised when the federal government tells you you're a racist asshole [Asinine]

Mexican visitors?

Conehead skulls unearthed in Mexico, not France [Interesting]

21st century problems.

There are now more soldier suicides than combat deaths [Sad]

Habitat for cHannibis?

Habitat for Humanity couple ran grow op in former home

Busted in Edmonton.

Edmonton man charged in armed standoff

Great idea.

Petition urges White House to classify Westboro church as hate group

Change is good.

Most Americans support some gun control: Poll

Meanwhile in Utah

Utah teachers get free gun training

The next patent war?

Apple Patents a Method for Bending Glass

We're all screwed.

Security Drones Foil Crooks Who Look Up

Cheap payday, but huge options...

Apple CEO's pay takes big hit

Angry Dilbert

Comic for December 27, 2012

The best of the worst

Presenting The 2012 Mug Shots Of The Year

Santa fail!

10 Really Bad Santas

What were you thinking?

10 Craziest Foreign Objects Found Stuck In A Rectum

Free gmail calling

Free calling within the US and Canada through 2013

Words of stupidity?

Italian priest writes that women might have themselves to blame for domestic violence and sexual assault. Women show remarkable restraint by allowing him to remain alive [Fail]

Another American hero dies.

Houston McCoy, the Austin police officer who stopped University of Texas Tower sniper Charles Whitman more than 46 years ago, died early Thursday afternoon. He was 72 [Hero]

Nice ride!

New Corvette teased and leaked ahead of January unveil

ITunes 101

Convenient iTunes 11 Keyboard Shortcuts

Expect product recalls...

What Mac to be 'Made in USA'? Maybe Mini, perhaps Pro?

Upgrades!

Samsung's Galaxy Note to get Android 4.1 Premium Suite

Next gen galaxy S4?

Galaxy S4: Imagine it impossibly thin, with laser keyboard

Another attempt to control or lives?

Apple rumored to be developing a smart watch

Explain that, Dad.

Ho ho ho! How a 5-year-old got a porn-filled Nintendo for Xmas

MS calls out Google?

Microsoft to Google: You're not 'serious' about business apps

Like you didn't know..

Twitter: The five biggest stories of 2012

Get your new years drink on!

How to Play the "Who Am I" Drinking Game

Farewell stormin' Norman'

Famed Gulf War U.S. General Norman Schwarzkopf dies - World - Canoe.ca

No surprises here.

More movie studio employees caught pirating movies - AfterDawn

Life imitates the Simpsons?

Nacho, Nacho Man

Ikea monkey fashions..

IKEA Monkey Loves the Holidays

That hurts..

Netflix outage mars Christmas Eve

Poor mommy..

WHO KNEW

Avatar babe?

NERDS

Meanwhile in China

CCTV footage of China knife attack released

WTF?

Firefighters in guarded condition after deadly ambush

No more

Mother of girl slain in Newtown issues Christmas message: 'No more!'

Merry Christmas from The PM

Prime Minister Stephen Harper's Christmas message

A booming holiday?

Three Afghans dead in blast at U.S. base

Meanwhile in

Russian ruling party official shot dead

True love..

Comic for December 25, 2012

People are strange..

20 Cutest Examples of Animals Celebrating Christmas

Educate yourself..

Scientific American Staff Picks: 10 Apps for Your Smart Phone or Tablet

More stupidity from Americans...

Thousands in U.S. want Piers Morgan deported - World - Canoe.ca

Nice one Myspace Tom.

Introducing... Sassy Tom!

The people have spoken.

Instagram sees class action lawsuit over ToS changes - AfterDawn

Copycat Canadians..

Six schools shut down due to gun threats on Friday. These were CANADIAN schools [Scary]

Xmas gift fail?

In Arizona even if your plan is to give your friends baggies of pot for Christmas and you get caught with the wrapped presents, you'll still get charged with intent to sell [Asinine]

Merry Christmas!

Sometimes a single malt whiskey is a far better reward than cash [Hero]

I don't want to live on this planet anymore.

The 10 worst gifts you can get your child this Christmas (besides a Total Fark membership) [Amusing]

Missing the plot?

I Don't Want Anything to Be Spoiled From the First Two

Another bad

Priest who organized Catholic World Youth Day charged with production and distribution of child porn [Sick]

Now he can make his prison sex scene.

Montreal deacon allegedly made child porn

Stupidity prevails in the

Mad rush to buy assault rifles in U.S.

This man wants to be prime minister?

Justin Trudeau addresses critics over Muslim keynote speech

Your tablet has arrived.

Here comes Microsoft Surface Pro, 64 bits and all

Uncle Sam and the bear joining forces?

U.S., Russia forge 'action plan' on piracy

Decisions..

The Joke's on These Girls... I Can't Even Read!

Movie memorabilia..

Things you can own: 'Back to the Future II' hoverboard

Magic Santa!

12.22.2012

Drugs are bad...

Marijuana lowers your sperm count. It's all part of God's plan to keep hipsters from reproducing. Pot kills most of the swimmers, and skinny jeans suffocate the rest [Amusing]

The next big thing.

New Trek game coming April 23

Thanks Pope!

Pope pardons former butler

Meanwhile in Sweden.

Swedish man gets disability benefits for his addiction to heavy metal music. Well duh, the best bands come from Sweden [Interesting]

You brought this on yourself America.

According to the CDC, in 2015 more people will die from gunshot wounds than car accidents in the US for the first time ever [Sad]

Women prefer men who are somewhat hard-to-get, and men prefer women who are very hard-to-get. I prefer sluts [Obvious]

Surprise!

Smokin' hot former Olympian Suzy Favor Hamilton has spent the past year winning gold medals as a high-priced call girl (Not safe for work) [Spiffy]

Meanwhile around the world..

The most unusual Christmas traditions from around the World [Strange]

Relive the laughter..

50 Greatest Internet Memes of 2012. McKayla is not impressed [Obvious]

Inception pizza?

Pizza Hut release a pizza within a pizza. In other words, we really are doomed [Sick]

Santa doesn't deliver.

Mall Santa lectures kids who ask for guns as to why they won't get them from him, and not just because "You'll shoot your eye out, kid" [Hero]

FB privacy changing..

Facebook starts pushing out new privacy settings

Hello flipboard.

Flipboard lands on Android tablets

Future fighting

Unmanned X-47B aircraft completes sea trial

Stuff you already knew..

Web media: The 5 biggest stories of 2012

Roll with the cash..

Facebook's $1 messages: one more way to get your credit card

The hits keep coming..

Kim Kardashian: Instagram's No. 1 enemy?

Free stuff people!

Get a free DVD ripper, video converter, and ringtone maker

Pay up dead man?

Steve Jobs' yacht impounded

Game on!

Will Samsung top Apple by withholding revolutionary tech?

Teach your car.

Hook up an iPhone, or iPod, to your car

W8 tweaks

Day One with your new Windows laptop

Lego Delorean coming

Lego 'Back to the Future' DeLorean official, out in 2013

Spaceman oh spaceman..

Step into NASA's next-generation spacesuit

Hardcore driver.

Australian road rage video captures attack

The only answer

Obama urges Americans to keep up pressure for tighter gun control

Meanwhile in Australia..

Deadly snakes hatch in toddler's closet

Ikea monkey saga..

Ikea monkey to stay at sanctuary

Need guns to fight guns?

NRA calls for guns to protect schools

A good idea?

P.E.I. considers impaired driver licence plates

WTF?

Social media threat closes Alberta school

7 years for10 bucks?

Winnipeg man convicted of killing over $10

Imported labor fight in BC

B.C. unions threaten 'contempt' motion

Game time!

Top 10 video games of 2012

The damage has been done?

Instagram Backtracks to 2010 Terms of Service for Advertising

No farting zone?

Formal Reprimand Issued To Flatulent Federal Worker

Surprised?

Instagram retreats on some service terms after backlash

Not sure if WTF or playtime...

10 Shocking Sexual Traditions from around the World

The end of the world as you know it.

10 Hilarious End of the World Signs

Apple WTF..

Apple Reportedly Killing Chargers That Power Both Lightning and Legacy iGadgets

Cool stuff!

Magnetism Confirmed to Control the Flow of Heat

Lies? Or not?

Tool Tells True Tweets From Fakes

Get festive!

How to Make Gingerbread Men Cookies

Suck it up princess...

How to Enjoy Winter

WTF? Worlds most popular video!

'Gangnam Style' becomes first video to hit 1 billion YouTube views

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