Subject: The Pope and The Oilfield Consultant

Pope John Paul dies of old age and finds himself at the gates of 
Heaven at 0300. He knocks on the gate and a very sleepy-eyed 
watchman opens the gate and asks, "Waddyah want?"
"I'm the recently deceased Pope and have done 68 years of godly 
works and thought I should check in here."
The watchman checks his clipboard and says, "I ain't got no orders 
for you here. Just bring your stuff in and we'll sort this out in 
the morning." They go to an old WWII barracks, 3rd floor, open bay. 
All the bottom racks are taken and all empty lockers have no doors. 
The Pope stows his gear under a rack and climbs into an upper bunk.
The next morning he awakens to sounds of cheering and clapping. He 
goes to the window and sees a flashy Jaguar convertible parading 
down the clouds from the golden headquarters building. The cloud 
walks are lined with saints and angels cheering and tossing 
confetti. In the back seat sits a retired Oilfield Consultant, a cigar in his mouth, a can of Bud Lite beer in one hand, and his other arm around a voluptuous blonde Angel with magnificent halos.
This sight disturbs the Pope and he runs downstairs to the the main gate and says to St. Peter, "Hey, what gives? You put me, the Pope with 
68 years of godly deeds, in an open bay barracks, while this Oilfield Consultant, who must've committed every sin known and unknown to man is 
staying in a mansion on the hill and getting a hero's welcome. How 
can this be?"
The Master at Arms calmly looks up and says, "Hey, we get a Pope up 
here every 20 or 30 years, but we've never had an Oilfield Consultant before.