He said / She said:

1 
He said to me . ... . I don't know why you wear a bra; you've got nothing to put in it
I said to him .... . . You wear pants don't you? 

2
He said to me ... . ......... Shall we try swapping positions tonight?
I said to him .. That's a good idea - you stand by the stove & sink while I sit on the sofa and do nothing but fart 
 
3
He said to me. ... What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave you?
I said to him . ..... Turn sideways and look in the mirror!
 
4 
He said to me. ..... Why don't women blink during foreplay?
I said to him ... . They don't have time. 
 
5 
He said to me. . How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?
I said to him .. .. I don't know; it has never happened.

6 
He said to me. . Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and Good- looking?

I said to him . . .. They already have boyfriends.
 

7 
He said to me...What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night?

I said to him. . .. A widow. 
 

8 
He said to me.... Why are married women heavier than single women?
I said to him .. . .. Single women come home, see what's in the fridge and go to bed…...

Married women come home, see what's in bed and go to the fridge.