Things not to say as an intern:

• “I’m not really ‘into’ the 8-hour workday.”

• “You started here in 1990? That’s, like, when I was born!”

• “Wow, I never thought I’d get another internship after what happened at the last one!”

• “I get your job when this ends, right?”

• “Can I expense my Playboy subscription? It’s research.”

• “I found the best place to nap yesterday!”

• “Heading out early… Glee is on tonight and I need to prepare.”

• “It’s not sexual harassment if you say ‘surprise!’”

• “You’re doing it wrong.”

• “You’re cute. Do you have a daughter who’s closer to my age?”