Accused bandit Butz brothers busted - Crime - Canoe.ca:
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5.9.11
3.9.11
fruit and trees...
A family is at the dinner table. The son asks his father, 'Dad, how many
kinds of boobs are there?
The father, surprised, answers, 'Well, son, there are three kinds of boobs:
In her 20's, a woman's are like melons, round and firm.
In her 30's to 40's, they are like pears, still nice but hanging a bit.
After 50, they are like onions'.
'Onions?'
'Yes, you see them and they make you cry.'
This infuriated his wife and daughter so the daughter said, 'Mum, how many
kinds of 'willies' are there?.
The mother, surprised, smiles and answers, 'Well dear, a man goes through
three phases. In his 20's, his willy is like an oak tree, mighty and hard.
In his 30's and 40's, it is like a birch, flexible but reliable. After his
50's, it is like a Christmas Tree.'
'A Christmas tree?'
'Yes - the tree is dead and the balls are just for decoration.
kinds of boobs are there?
The father, surprised, answers, 'Well, son, there are three kinds of boobs:
In her 20's, a woman's are like melons, round and firm.
In her 30's to 40's, they are like pears, still nice but hanging a bit.
After 50, they are like onions'.
'Onions?'
'Yes, you see them and they make you cry.'
This infuriated his wife and daughter so the daughter said, 'Mum, how many
kinds of 'willies' are there?.
The mother, surprised, smiles and answers, 'Well dear, a man goes through
three phases. In his 20's, his willy is like an oak tree, mighty and hard.
In his 30's and 40's, it is like a birch, flexible but reliable. After his
50's, it is like a Christmas Tree.'
'A Christmas tree?'
'Yes - the tree is dead and the balls are just for decoration.
2.9.11
1.9.11
Ukranian firefighters:
In a small town in Alberta, a fire started inside the local sausage plant and in a blink it exploded into massive flames.
The alarm went out to all the fire departments from miles around.
When the volunteer fire fighters appeared on the scene, the sausage company president rushed to the fire chief and said, "All of our secret formulas are in the vault in the center of the plant.
They must be saved and I will give $50,000 to the fire department that brings them out intact."
But the roaring flames held the firefighters off.
Soon more fire departments had to be called in as the situation became desperate.
As the firemen arrived, the president shouted out that the offer was now $100,000 to the fire department who could bring out the company's secret files.
From the distance, a lone siren was heard as another fire truck came into sight.
It was the nearby Vegreville rural township volunteer fire department composed mainly of Ukrainians over the age of 65.
To everyone's amazement, the little run-down fire engine, operated by these Ukrainians, passed all the newer sleek engines parked outside the plant... And drove straight into the middle of the inferno.
Outside the other firemen watched as the Ukrainian old timers jumped off and began to fight the fire with a performance and effort never seen before.
Within a short time, the Vegreville old timers had extinguished the fire and saved the secret formulas.
The grateful sausage company president joyfully announced that for such a superhuman feat he was upping the reward to $200,000, and walked over to personally thank each of the brave, though elderly, Ukrainian firefighters.
The local TV news reporters rushed in after capturing the event on film asking, "What are you going to do with all that money?"
"Vell," said Nick Demchuk, the 70-year-old fire chief, "da furst thing ve gonna do is fix da brakes on dat focking truck."
The alarm went out to all the fire departments from miles around.
When the volunteer fire fighters appeared on the scene, the sausage company president rushed to the fire chief and said, "All of our secret formulas are in the vault in the center of the plant.
They must be saved and I will give $50,000 to the fire department that brings them out intact."
But the roaring flames held the firefighters off.
Soon more fire departments had to be called in as the situation became desperate.
As the firemen arrived, the president shouted out that the offer was now $100,000 to the fire department who could bring out the company's secret files.
From the distance, a lone siren was heard as another fire truck came into sight.
It was the nearby Vegreville rural township volunteer fire department composed mainly of Ukrainians over the age of 65.
To everyone's amazement, the little run-down fire engine, operated by these Ukrainians, passed all the newer sleek engines parked outside the plant... And drove straight into the middle of the inferno.
Outside the other firemen watched as the Ukrainian old timers jumped off and began to fight the fire with a performance and effort never seen before.
Within a short time, the Vegreville old timers had extinguished the fire and saved the secret formulas.
The grateful sausage company president joyfully announced that for such a superhuman feat he was upping the reward to $200,000, and walked over to personally thank each of the brave, though elderly, Ukrainian firefighters.
The local TV news reporters rushed in after capturing the event on film asking, "What are you going to do with all that money?"
"Vell," said Nick Demchuk, the 70-year-old fire chief, "da furst thing ve gonna do is fix da brakes on dat focking truck."
Immigration:
THIS IS MY COUNTRY!
And, because I make
this statement
DOES NOT
mean I'm against immigration!!!
YOU ARE WELCOME HERE,
IN MY COUNTRY!
Welcome!
To come through legally:
1. Get a sponsor!
2. Get a place to lay your head!
3. Get a job!
4.. Live by OUR Rules!
5. Pay YOUR Taxes!
and
6. Learn our language like immigrants
have in the past!!!
7. Don't demand that we hand over our lifetime
savings of welfare benefits to you.
And, because I make
this statement
DOES NOT
mean I'm against immigration!!!
YOU ARE WELCOME HERE,
IN MY COUNTRY!
Welcome!
To come through legally:
1. Get a sponsor!
2. Get a place to lay your head!
3. Get a job!
4.. Live by OUR Rules!
5. Pay YOUR Taxes!
and
6. Learn our language like immigrants
have in the past!!!
7. Don't demand that we hand over our lifetime
savings of welfare benefits to you.
Definitely not “politically correct”
bottom or you will miss the message...
1. There will be no special bilingual programs in the schools.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
2. All ballots will be in this nation's language.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
3. All government business will be conducted in our language.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
4. Non-residents will NOT have the right to vote no matter how long they are here.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
5. Non-citizens will NEVER be able to hold political office.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
6. Foreigners will not be a burden to the taxpayers. No welfare, no food stamps,no health care, or other government assistance programmers.
Anyone who is a burden will be deported.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
7. Foreigners can invest in this country, but it must be an amount at least equalto 40,000 times the daily minimum wage.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
8. If foreigners come here and buy land options will be restricted.Certain parcels including waterfront property are reserved for citizensnaturally born into this country.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
9. Foreigners may have no protests; no demonstrations, no waving of aforeign flag, no political organizing, no bad-mouthing our prime ministeror his policies. These will lead to imprisonment and deportation.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
10. If you do come to this country illegally, you will be actively hunted and,when caught, sent to jail until your deportation can be arranged.
All assets will be taken from you.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Too strict?
The above laws are the current immigration
laws of the Muslim countries!
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